Visionary presents a rambling tie-in to the big CrazySugarFreakWedding!

"Just pick something already!" Fleabot groaned with annoyance from the desktop. "The party has already started..."

"It's just that there's a lot of pressure..." Visionary noted, flipping through the Lair's DVD collection.

"What pressure? You're holographic! With Hallie doing the tailoring, you can go in any kind of costume you can imagine!"

"Yeah, that's just it..." the Regular replied. "I mean, when you don't have *any* limitations, it's kind of hard to narrow it down, isn't it?" He shuddered as he came across the cases for the Melanie Hastings collection. Despite the bachelor's party theme to the reception, there were some virtual outfits he wasn't eager to try out. (Particularly the cover with a man wearing a saddle and harness, being ridden by another guy.) "Okay, so some options are easy to rule out, but still... What if I pick a costume that somebody else is already using?"

"Nobody cares what you wear, you big girl" Fleabot answered. "Today's not really about you, now is it? The odds are running about even that Dream and April are gonna get hitched, so chances are all eyes will be on them. Especially with the way April's struggling to stay in that breastplate of hers."

"That outfit's enough to make me reassess my opinions of the He-man cartoon..." Visionary admitted with admiration, then blinked. "Wait, what do you mean the odds are running even?"

The tiny robot shrugged. "Well, leaving aside the success rate of Lair weddings, and the whole "damning to hell" that went on at the last one, it *is* CrazySugarFreakBoy's wedding, after all."

"So?"

"The man loves pop culture so much he's practically marrying it, what with the costumes. All things considered, it would nearly be insulting if super villains didn't honor the demands of tradition and choose to attack and disrupt the ceremony." Fleabot stroked his goatee in contemplation. "Plus there's the whole scheduling the reception before the wedding vows. Something's definitely up, there."

"Maybe" Visionary admitted. "Still, I like to think optimistically. It's a wedding after all... they're such happy events! Full of promise of wonderful times ahead... Opportunities for a more fulfilling life..."

"They practically live on candy, indulge whole-heartily in each other's enthusiasms, and have sex constantly as it is" Fleabot observed. "What else is there?"

Visionary pondered that and shrugged. "Some nice tax breaks, I suppose." He glanced down at his friend. "But back on the subject at hand, I still don't think yours should count as a costume..."

"Hmph!" the bearded robot snorted. "You're just sore that you didn't think of "evil alternate from the mirror dimension" first."

There was a flash of light as the glowing form of Hallie appeared beside them, brushing her hands together in satisfaction. "Okay, the catering is straightened out, the music is good to go, and the decorations and table settings are all set" she noted efficiently. "Everything is running nice and smooth for the perfect Halloween-slash-Bachelor-slash-Bachelorette-slash-party-slash-reception-slash-wedding."

"Considering the couple's fan fiction tendencies, it might be a good idea to avoid the whole "slash" phrase..." Visionary noted carefully.

"Right" Fleabot agreed. He turned to Hallie with a raised eyebrow. "So April asked you to help organize the wedding?"

"Well... not per se..." she answered.

He nodded. "So you're just butting in then."

"I am not!" the sentient computer argued, hands on her hips. "I'm simply trying to... facilitate things. April is my friend, and I want to make sure everything goes smoothly." She rubbed her arm guiltily. "And maybe do a little digital enhancement of the flower arrangements."

The tiny robot made a delicate cough that sounded suspiciously like "control freak".

Hallie scowled. "I have no problem letting other people organize things."

"Naturally" Fleabot agreed. "Which is why you've hardwired yourself into every monitoring and control system on this island."

There was an ominous whir as the Lair's automated proton repulsor guns deployed from the walls. "Indeed. Your point being?" Hallie asked dangerously.

"Ah..." he answered, looking around nervously. "Vizh still doesn't have a costume!"

She blinked and turned on the holographic man. "You don't?"

"Traitor" Visionary scowled at the robotic flea as the stunulators were swallowed up back inside the walls. He glanced back at Hallie. "Er... I haven't exactly decided on a theme yet..."

"Vizh, the party has already started!" she complained.

"What about you?" he challenged. "Why aren't you in costume?"

She crossed her arms defensively, then brushed a lock of hair back behind her ear with embarrassment. "I thought maybe you'd want to do a theme thing together... Since the wedding party is all coordinated and such."

"Weren't you going to be Holographic Leia?" Fleabot prompted. "You know... "Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope!"..."

"I don't like being blue" she noted petulantly.

"You could always be Slave Leia... um... that is..." Visionary quickly changed his mind when Hallie's eye's narrowed at the "S" word. "Er... Come to think of it, Carrie Fisher wore a really flattering bounty hunter disguise at the beginning of Empire Strikes Back..."

"Miiri's already wearing the gold bikini outfit, isn't she?" Fleabot asked in amusement.

The holographic woman snorted bitterly. "I hate Star Wars."

"Right, so... moving on to other options" Visionary suggested. "Um... what other cartoons does Dream like? Thundercats?"

"Please..." Fleabot groaned. "I'm in enough trouble with Quoth as it is... don't rile her up with any more cats. And until Anastasia gets out of heat, you'll probably want to go a different direction anyway." He looked Visionary up and down. "Hmmm... have you considered any bird characters? Daffy Duck? Foghorn Leghorn? Chicken Boo?"

"Chicken who?"

"He wears a disguise to look like human guys..." Hallie noted offhandedly as she pondered their options. "But he's not a man, he's a Chicken Boo."

"Um... okay" Visionary replied. "Hey, is that what Mumphrey is supposed to be?"

Fleabot blinked in surprise. "I dunno... what's he wearing?"

"It's kind of a military styled outfit, but with a lot of feathers" Visionary described. "Kind of like an armored Vegas showgirl, or if Big Bird joined the Cavalry." He looked thoughtful for a moment. "Ah... let's not tell him I described it that way, shall we? He may have some kind of musket with him..."

"I promise nothing" Fleabot noted evilly. "What costumes are other people wearing?"

Hallie shrugged. "Most of them are keeping them secret... or are having as hard a time coming up with some as we are. I think I saw Epitome dressed as himself, though."

"Yeah, I caught him smiling earlier... totally ruined the likeness he was going for." Fleabot noted. "But then, I suppose after seeing Kararina's gams in that pleated skirt... um..." he hesitated as he caught Hallie's gaze and heard the guns powering up behind the walls. "So... Hey! Here's April!" he yelled in relief as the bride to be descended the stairs.

"Hey guys!" April Apple Alice greeted them, adjusting her tiara. "How come you're not in your outfits yet?" She looked them over and then smirked. "My eyes are up here, Vizh."

"What? Oh! I... um... seem to have my optical displays, er... misaligned" the holographic man answered nervously. "You know, adjusting to a new body takes a while to work out all the, er... kinks."

"No problem... I'm a gal that can appreciate kinks." She grinned and posed in her Teela outfit. "And still be flattered when a guy's eyes bust out of his head..."

"That's not all that's busting out" Hallie mentioned dryly with a look at the bridal gown.

"He could have gone the extra mile and added the "Ah-woooooo-ga!" sound effect." April suggested. "So what's the hold-up?"

"They don't have costumes yet" Fleabot offered helpfully.

"He really is quick to sell a person out, isn't he?" Hallie muttered to Visionary.

"It's the goatee..." the Regular responded bitterly. "It makes him more evil than usual."

"Aw... you guys just need a theme, that's all..." April decided, looking them up and down with a gleam in her eye. "Tell me... do you like 80's music?"

"...And so then I said, "Look, if you want my professional opinion, you should just jump your brother's fiancee and get the sexual frustration out of the way once and for all"..." the woman in the too-tight meter maid's uniform explained, making grand gestures with a cocktail weenie on a toothpick. Other guests were avoiding their end of the buffet table as the carnival atmosphere of the party swirled around them. "And then I gave her a stack of my business cards to leave on the nightstands of any guys that considered dating her. That's when the punching started."

Griffin scratched his head. "I'm not sure that story is appropriate for children."

"It's okay squirt... I'm your daddy's therapist, so I know. Odds are, that's likely to be one of the least mentally scarring things you'll learn at a ceremony where the groom opts to wear a furry diaper instead of a tux." She smiled happily. "Besides, the incident made the whole party a business expense for me, so I can deduct that bread machine I brought." She popped the mini corndog in her mouth. "Hey! Did I tell you that your outfit has to be the absolute best leper costume I've ever seen anyone wear to a wedding before?"

The eleven year old shifted grumpily in his bandages and sun glasses. "I'm supposed to be the Invisible Man" he noted without enthusiasm. "It was either that, or a big invisible bunny from a movie that Yo saw, but Quoth insisted I wear something she could keep an eye on."

"There you are!" the bird in question squawked, fluttering over to the two of them with Magweed close behind. "What did I tell you about wandering off in this crowd?"

"Don't drink anything, eat anything, talk to strangers, or look at anything that might be related to the bachelor's party festivities" Griffin replied dutifully. "And no playing in the inflatable "Moonwalk" or giant ball pit unless absolutely sure that none of Ms. Hastings' colleagues are 'entertaining' in there."

"Jeez..." the meter maid complained. "If an eleven year old can't cut lose and have fun at a party full of inflatable rides and porn stars, where can he cut lose?" She paused and tapped her lips. "Or is "inflatable rides and porn stars" redundant?"

The raven bristled and eyed the woman warily. "I'll thank you to stay out of my governess duties, Ms...?"

"Pfeffercorn" the woman introduced herself. "I'm Vizh's therapist. Heard a lot about you... but I'm sure he was just under a lot of stress that session." She cocked her head to one side. "What... no costume? You couldn't rent Tippi Hedren to wear for the day?"

"Your outfit certainly looks... authentic" Quoth replied suspiciously, looking at the woman with narrowed eyes. "...Down to the half-written ticket with your own name on it hanging from the notepad on your belt."

"Er... yes, well... it's the little touches that make it work" the psychologist answered evasively, looking at the name on the uniform. "It's not like the real officer... Sidney was drugged, stripped, put in a mumu and shipped off on a bus bound for Miami if that's what you're thinking. I actually, ah... borrowed it from a guy I'm seeing on the force. Yeah. That could work..."

"A guy?" Griffin asked, looking at the skirt.

"Um... He has some issues to work out. I can't really talk about it. Patient confidentiality, you know." She knelt down and looked behind Griffin at the quiet Magweed (who was trying not to be noticed,) and snapped her fingers. "Undead Romanian Ambassador!"

"I'm supposed to be a vampire..." she noted shyly. "Only they couldn't get my hair to go all curly and red, like a real vampire girl's, so they said this was what people thought vampires wore anyway." She plucked at the miniature tuxedo and red sash skeptically. "I don't think that's right, though."

"Hang on..." Ms. Pfeffercorn said, then turned to the buffet table. She rummaged around in a candy dish, and then returned. "Open wide..." she said, jamming some soft candy into the little girl's upper teeth.

"Not bad!" Griffin noted, admiring his sister's brown, orange and white striped fangs.

"Really?" she asked with a lisp. "They don't tasth very good..."

"Of course not, they're candy corn" the psychologist noted with a shudder. "They exist to remind you that Halloween is a celebration of evil. But they make nice false teeth... At least until you gotta pay the dentist."

"What'th a dentitht?"

Ms. Pfeffercorn ruffled her hair. "Why ruin that surprise for ya."

"Thank you..." Quoth said, grudgingly, as Magweed delighted in feeling her new teeth. "She was upset that I forbid her first choice in costumes..."

"She wanted to dress as our missing aunt/big sister..." Griffin confided. "Ever since we kind of, um... accidentally found Kerry's diary."

Maggie blushed. "She'th really neat" the fairy princess whispered to the woman.

"Oh, that is so sweet!" the woman who was Visionary's therapist sighed, obviously touched. She reached out and hugged the little girl tightly. "I'm going to be able to buy a boat this year!"

"Hey guys!" a voice called out across the crowd. They looked up to see Visionary waving as he and Hallie joined them. "Ah, I see you've all met Mary..."

"Mary?" Hallie asked, raising an eyebrow.

"You must be Hallie!" the therapist exclaimed, grabbing the hologram's hands and holding them out from her body to take a good look at her. "You're exactly as I always pictured!"

The sentient computer's mouth tightened as her ridiculously huge pink hairdo fell in front of her star-shaped eye make-up. "I'm dressed up as Jem" she noted levelly, "...from the unfortunate 80's cartoon Jem and the Holograms."

"Yes!" Ms. Pfeffercorn agreed happily. "And Vizh... you're... Dr. Katz?"

The holographic Regular was blinking back and forth to pencil sketches, with his own equally ridiculous hair. "I'm apparently the guy from A-ha's Take On Me video."

"...'kay" she answered dubiously. "Lemme just jot that down..." she said, taking out her notepad and scribbling something inside.

"It wasn't my idea" he noted earnestly, taking her aside. "Really. It's just, well... I was having trouble deciding on a costume... and we wanted April to be happy... and that breast plate was really distracting..." He looked at her worriedly. "Why are you still taking notes?"

She patted him on the shoulder. "We'll talk about it in Thursday's session... I'll need time to organize my observations on this wedding dealio if I'm to get the next three chapters to my publisher for editing." She sniffed happily and dabbed at her eyes, looking wistfully at her surroundings. "Now I know why people always cry at weddings..." she sighed. "They signify the promise of such wonderful times ahead..."

Post By Visionary Tue Dec 12, 2006 at 12:42:07 am EST	Subject Visionary presents a rambling tie-in to the big CrazySugarFreakWedding!

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